Time

Time is a fickle thing. I often feel that it is crawling by, but suddenly I look back and a whole year has passed.

I don’t think anyone would disagree with me when I say that 2020 has been quite the year.

Politically, the United States has been in a state of unrest for the entirety of the year. Spiritually, politics constantly affect this area and I know that we Christians are wary of what the new year brings. Physically, our world has been wracked by the pandemic of COVID-19.

What. A. Year.

I find myself feeling extremely glad to close the chapter on 2020 and open a new one. 2021 will look different than any year yet for me. 2020 was full of some good in that I graduated college, passed by board licensure exam, and got what feels like my dream job working as a Physical Therapist Assistant. But as I head into this year, it‘s the first time I don’t feel like a kid. I’m suddenly finding myself all grown up and it’s scary, but really nice. I’ve been looking forward to this stage of my life for a long time.

Something I have always struggled with is wishing my life away. J used to always tell me to stop wishing for the next thing and focus on the joy of now. Contentment has always been a struggle for me, and I’ve spent most of my life wishing for the next thing. I remember starting high school so vividly - I was ready to be done altogether on my first day.

Now, I’m in the stage I’ve always wanted to be in, but it looks nothing like I thought it would. Honestly, I thought I would be married by now. I thought I would be living my adult life with a partner and a home and so many other things. But this stage looks like living at home, saving most of my paycheck, and pouring time into my friendships.

Something I will say about being in a romantic relationship when you’re fairly young is that your friendships suffer because of it. Since September, I’ve been out of state twice to visit friends, I’ve spent countless nights hanging out with the people here, and a lot of time trying to FaceTime and reconnect with old friends I haven’t talked to in awhile.

Time is a funny thing. Whether you want it to freeze or speed up, it just keeps marching on.

As we head into 2021 I find myself feeling a strange sense of contentment. I know that it probably won‘t last but it’s my goal this year to STRIVE for contentment. To be at peace with where I am. With who I am. With all that God has blessed me with in this season of life.

I learned a lot in 2020, about who I am, about how to be just me, about God and relationships and about a hundred other things. 2021 is a fresh start, tomorrow is a fresh start too. The verses I’m holding onto this year (I pick one for every year) are Lamentations 3:22-23 and Luke 22:42.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

”Nevertheless, not my will but yours be done.”

I am striving for His will in my life and no matter how many times I may fail in that endeavor, I get a fresh chance, a new start, every morning.

Happy new year friends, may this year be better than the last.

xo,

ais