Convictions

Recently in my life there was a circumstance where I felt convicted about my actions and yet, because of outside pressure, ignored them. This caused me to feel rather guilty and it caused the outside party some heartache as well.

This is a pretty personal subject but I felt that God laid it on my heart to share.

Convictions are an extremely personal matter, and often I find myself comparing my own to others. The problem with doing this is that it causes me to question my own mind and my own walk with God. When I am in the throes of wrestling with my convictions and I begin to question them and compare them to another person instead of what God is showing me in scripture, I’m short changing myself. God works in each one of us in unique ways and it’s not for others to say whether what I believe is right or wrong. Diving into scripture causes us to think deeply about God and his design for our lives. When I push my convictions down it’s more often than not so that I will stand out less in this world of sin and destructive behaviors.

By nature, I am a shy person who hates being anywhere near the center of attention. I dislike standing out so much that I usually find the loudest person in the group and melt into their shadow. Because of this aspect of my personality, I struggle with witnessing and being up front about my beliefs and convictions to anyone who isn’t a Christian. This is a pretty bad way to be as we are called to be lights in this world for God.

Lately, I’ve been studying the book of Proverbs and have been quite convicted by it. My biggest conviction lately, as well as something I’ve been striving to work for just about my entire life, are my words and my attitude. I struggle with a naturally grumpy temperament and this leads to harsh words based on split second reactions. Proverbs 12:18 says “but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

That’s the kind of person I want to be: kind, an encourager, someone who’s reactions and words reflect Christ daily.

While this post is a bit muddled and all over the place, these are the thoughts on my mind and heart and a bit of an insight into who I am and what I’m working on! I hope that this encourages each of you to follow where Christ is leading!