Dear Someone

Dear Someone, I hope these random thoughts can help you understand, even just a little bit.

The topic that is on my mind and is pretty much always somewhere in my head is relationships. Whether it be a romantic relationship or just a friendship, I spend a good deal of time thinking about them. My role in life seems to be that of a listener and an encourager. Several of my good friends are in serious relationships and I spend a great deal of time listening to my girlfriends talk. About their boyfriends and about girls within their friend groups and so on. I always give my friends the same advice, no matter what kind of relationship they are struggling with. Talk to him, talk to her, communicate. So much of relationships is bound up in how you communicate with each other. Knowing how to communicate in your partners love language is important, knowing how to communicate through disagreements and hard times is crucial, every aspect of your relationship centers around how you communicate. Boyfriends, girlfriends, guy friends and girl friends, it doesn’t matter who it is, every relationship matters and any person can hurt you. Learning how to communicate is a key to a happier life, at least that’s how I see it.

The world we live in is all about texting and social media and all other means of communication that isn’t really communicating at all. There is so much of a person held within their voice and how they speak and no matter how hard we try we can not recreate it or duplicate it over text. There are also a lot of misconceptions about guys and girls and how we are, so here is a little insight from a girls perspective. I’m not sure if guys realize how much stock a girl puts in what he texts her. Texts full of “I miss you’s” and heart emojis (yes even emojis) and other things along those lines, well those mean the world to the girl who receives them and here’s where a lack of communication comes in. Girls read between the lines even when there’s nothing there because a lot of the time we WANT something to be there. I’ve spent nights being the shoulder a friend has cried on because out of nowhere (in her mind) the guy she was talking to and the guy she thought things were going so well with he is now dating someone totally different. We girls are at fault for reading something that isn’t there into a message, but boys, you are at fault for not being aware of how your words effect us. No one is perfect and we get that, we all do. Another problem I see a lot is within a person’s friend group. A guy and a girl spend a bit of time together and become friends and all of a sudden people are asking if the two of you are dating or when will you start dating and you just feel flustered and confused but happy and wow. I think it’s important to let people be, just let them live and don’t pester people or tease them. It’s hard enough trying to figure out what’s going on in your own relationship and having everyone ask you makes it so much worse. Suddenly there are expectations put in your head that are from other people, and those expectations can really hurt you.

Relationships now-a-days are so different from what they were ten and twenty and fifty years ago. Back then there were no phones, no internet, no social media, none of the things we have now. I think things were easier then, if a guy liked a girl he would be honest with her, tell her what he wanted, and that was that. People we honest about what they wanted and none of the confusion that we have now.

Hopefully these thoughts make sense, I have been playing around with this post for awhile now and this is the best I could get it to.

Signed sincerely from a soul who cares